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The older woman, who struggled into the taxi office one morning, made me catch my breath in pity and anger. Could it be that this woman was actually afraid of her own daughter?Reliant, as many of we pensioners are on the local cabbies, we get to know them well and they’re often happy to chat. They’re always so busy, they both work, and the grandchildren have so many clubs. But you know how it is, you daren’t say anything.’I was upset enough hearing how this lovely lady might be spending her birthday on her own, while her family lived less than five miles away. Time and time again we are told of the epidemic of loneliness in this country.On this particular morning, the taxi controller had remembered it was this lady’s 80th birthday at the weekend.‘Is your daughter taking you somewhere nice for lunch? The pained look on her face gave him his answer.‘Maybe,’ she said. One in ten over-65s feels chronically lonely all the time, yet most suffer in silence, through fear of appearing a nuisance.More often than not, these are not old people cut off from their families or left alone without surviving relatives.One ride out to the seaside for tea and scones once a month, in return for a helping hand with the school fees? She has told me quite emphatically that any grandchildren will be ‘trained’ to look after me ‘when I’m old’ (I’m 76, and enormously flattered she still considers me youthful).

They just keep quiet.‘You’re always walking on egg-shells,’ one 75-year-old grandmother explained to me, during a pre-granddaughter ‘pep talk’. They’re so grateful to be invited they ‘daren’t say anything’.I may not have liked my mother badgering me to write thank you notes the second I received a gift, or to send birthday cards to all my vast horde of relatives.I used to complain that this ritual card-sending, calls, and so on substituted real feeling, but at least it showed someone had thought about them.We can make our loneliness and deepest fears known.I now let my children — both Elias and his sister, Mina — know what I expect from them.If they’re lucky they are ‘invited’ (often months ahead) to a meal or gathering, where they’re largely ignored, as children and grandchildren alike barely look up from their phones.