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The good news is that with proper treatment and support, you can lead a wonderful life.

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We live in a culture where women get set up to be chosen.

You wait for him to start the conversation, then you wait for him to ask you out, you wait for him to text afterwards, then wait some more for validation that the relationship is meaningful, all the while hoping that in the end you will be chosen for all of your special and unique qualities that make you unlike any other girl in the universe.

Through the process, I learned to do a few things differently.

If you want to be treated with respect you must also communicate—out of respect. How can anyone really love you deeply if you don’t love yourself? Be loving to yourself first and the rest will come.I often recommend that people go through the exercise of imagining what the energy of their future relationship feels like. Wear that feeling around until it becomes familiar to you, as familiar as your favorite sweater. You must trust in the process in order for it to work.How would it feel to come home from work and have your partner greet you? One of the most common complaints I hear about dating these days is that there seems to be little follow through in a world more and more technologically connected. I’ve heard this called the “Houdini syndrome” or even “ghosting,” and it drives people nuts, men and women alike.(Location 258-263)I grew more mindful as the slow rhythm of bloodletting rinsed me with clarity.It wasn’t dramatic; it was familiar and reassuring.A touch that wouldn’t hurt a non-injured person makes the burned person cry. Kiera depicts what it feels to suffer from BPD with eloquent passages such as these: I am always on the verge of drowning, no matter how hard I work to keep myself afloat.

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