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So that when you have sex, it’s going to be with a woman so incredible that the average guy couldn’t hope to hold her interest.Being a virgin into adulthood—or going years without sex—is normal, especially among truly great, sweet, wonderful, sexy men who eventually make incredible boyfriends and even better sexual partners. Remember, though; a guy who goes through a promiscuous phase may feel shame about that, too.In the vast majority of cases, you not having sex has nothing to do with you, your attractiveness, or your eligibility.On the contrary: in my experience, it’s the best guys who hold on to their V-Cards the longest, and go the longest without sex.How can you reconcile your potent sexuality with the idea that male desire is wrong or frightening?The powerful, intense immediacy of male need may seem like a foe to you now, but it’s actually part of what heterosexual women find attractive in men.

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Or you may think women are only interested in guys who have money, or are established in their careers, or are great with kids. The wonderful truth is that different women are interested in vastly different things, and attracted to a broad range of qualities in a man.You also may not fit the model of ‘ideal’ male beauty, and you certainly don’t want to have to change your image just to get a girl to notice you.You’ve probably done lots of awesome things in your life.Presence—showing up, being honest about your experience, being open to the experience of your partner—is what makes sex great. If you are feeling terrible about this and want to get it out of the way, try a casual hookup.Ask a female friend for help in how to present yourself if you’re not confident in attracting an NSA partner. If you’re waiting for something more meaningful, acknowledge that. I think that waiting for a great person is an excellent reason for putting off sex, and one that many women will find very attractive as it indicates depth of spirit and emotional self awareness.All of us can feel latent shame about our sexuality and our bodies, because our culture teaches us that everything about sex, including not having it, is shameful. There is nothing shameful about your sex life, whatever it’s like.