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Instead of waiting to hear what your date suggests, have a couple ideas in mind before you actually start planning with him or her.Say, “I’m not sure if this is your thing, but if you want to eat, we could try this place I like; if you would prefer to do some sort of activity, we could do a movie or walk through a museum.” By taking an active approach in dating, you won’t default to your shy ways as easily.Off the bat, I’m thinking of the Maroon 5 song, “Unkiss Me.” The point of that song is that its singer, Adam Levine, wants to go back in time and avoid getting hurt.But with shy men and women, the problem is often the opposite: They feel uncomfortable going out on a limb and kissing their date or making a move to begin with.The good news is that these behaviors, while they can thwart a successful dating life if left unchecked, can totally be changed if you make an effort.Check out the shy behaviors below and see if any of them apply to you. The key to dating is to avoid taking the whole thing too seriously.If you’re shy and meet someone you really like, you need to do whatever it takes to summon the courage and contact that good date again. Conclusion: I believe shy people make the world a deeper and more interesting place.Don’t wait for him or her to make it happen for you. Shy people often have some of the best senses of humor. is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, Psychology Today blogger, and TV guest expert.

With dating, shy men and women come to the table with a minor disadvantage because dating is a social activity, and shy people have a hard time putting their best foot forward with people brand new to them.While you can’t change your personality on an ongoing basis, you can certainly push your shy personality to the limit for 60 minutes and initiate lots of good conversation topics. Overt flirting can actually be a turnoff for some, but a little playful flirting can go a long way.Shy people often get too stuck in their heads to relax and let their flirting come out.Dance clubs and dive bars may have worked in the '90s, but now, even if you’re out, your phone is a much easier way to find someone to "Netflix and chill" with (especially someone you won’t regret tomorrow).And the great thing is, whether you prefer chatting extensively with your new crush first or a little fantasy in your play, there are diverse options to suit your every whim and desire. But it can be hard for a shy individual to feel super cozy with someone new and to start the conversation as if these two individuals have known each other for years.