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This is a perfect example of the way girls get treated almost anywhere on the internet – no matter what we say, guys expect us to owe them conversation. And then, he got two messages from sex workers using the platform to find clients. I suppose just that Tinder really isn’t a place to connect and make new friends. But the way Tinder markets itself as a space for everyone to meet new people made us think that hey, maybe we both won’t get people offering to have sex with us since we said we weren’t interested.Nobody ever messaged Doug or me saying anything along the lines of “Hey, I read your profile, respect that you are in a relationship and would love to hand out and hear more with you in a friendship way! Friendship never was brought up with any of his or my matches. Not the case – I’d say nine times out of ten, the people offering/asking for sex did not even glance at anything further than our pictures.Since I’ve been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend Doug for nearly two years now, Tinder has never been necessary to me.Still, I’ve always found it curious how the app has the tagline “It’s How People Meet,” so different from other dating apps, which put the focus on love and connection and building relationships.In contrast, Tinder seems so casual, and the way Tinder tries endlessly to market itself as wholesome and friendly makes it appear as though you could go on there to find friends just as much as you could to find hookups. I didn’t believe the Tinder dating pool would respect a girl who went on the site for any reason other than to meet people to date/hookup with.

Not too much to ask from a site that’s created for meeting new people, right?

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This meant two things: 1) One third of the men who messaged me had read all of my profile, including the part in which I said I would not respond to them, and 2) they felt that, since they had read my profile, they were better than average and I owed them a conversation about what I was doing. It was totally disturbing – about 12% of the men who messaged me started out aggressively sexual like this. Four out of his seven messages were simply girls saying “hey” – meaning they also did not read his profile.

I’m a firm believer that probably 90% of the time, girls do not owe guys shit. There were guys, though, that took my being on Tinder yet not available to them very personally. I feel like I didn’t do enough damage to you to cause you to say that. He had one girl say she read his profile and was curious what my research was about – totally acknowledging I existed!